


Without Dean

by Impala_Cherry_Trickster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bobby Singer Deals With Idjits, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester in Love, Dean Winchester in Hell, Demon Blood Addict Sam Winchester, F/M, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, No Apocalypse, Past Ruby/Sam Winchester, Post-Season/Series 03, Protective Crowley, Self-Harm, Soulmates, alistair is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-10 20:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19911421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Cherry_Trickster/pseuds/Impala_Cherry_Trickster
Summary: Dean went to Hell, and now Sam is struggling to cope. But luckily, he has someone to help him.





	1. Four Things

After Dean had gone to Hell, Sam Winchester did four notable things. The first was stabbing Ruby in the neck, after he found out she had been drugging him. He let her fall, slitting her throat open and watching her fall to the ground. That was the moment Sam Winchester stopped feeling bad for the monsters. The Second thing he did was to recruit an ally, a Demon named Crowley. Lilith’s right-hand man, who had no intention of letting Lucifer out of the Cage. He told Sam everything he needed to know about the upcoming apocalypse, and the two became allies.

The third thing he did was help Crowley kill Lilith, so the Cage could never be opened. With that done, Crowley became King of Hell. Sam didn’t have to worry about Lucifer riding his ass, so he could go back to Hunting. The fourth and final thing Sam did was distance himself from Bobby, Ellen and Jo. The last thing he needed was people caring for him, he just got them killed.

Sam continued hunting. He did it because Dean would have been doing that, had Sam not gone and got himself killed. The Winchester needed the Hunting to survive, he couldn’t live without Dean. The Trickster had been right, trapping Sam in a never-ending Tuesday. An in that sense, the monster had been right. Sam couldn’t live without Dean.

It started with the cutting, which had been stupid. It moved onto anti-depressants and a tendency to run into situations that would likely kill him. Crowley occasionally popped by, either with news on a Case or to check that Sam wasn’t killing himself. Today was no different, Crowley appeared in the Motel room whilst Sam was putting fresh bandaging on his arms. Crowley didn’t say anything about the fresh cuts, waited until Sam was finished before he spoke.

‘There’s talk of Angels on Earth.’ Sam didn’t believe in Angels, which was stupid, because the Devil existed. He was the Devil’s vessel, according to Crowley. It wasn’t just the King of Hell who told him, though. Other Demons, high-up ones that didn’t agree with Crowley being King had told him the same as he cut them apart.

‘Dangerous?’ He asked, grabbing a shirt.

‘To me, yes. To you, possibly. To humans, no.’ Because he had Demon Blood. Because Dean, apparently Michael’s Vessel, was trapped in Hell because of him. He then realised that it musthave been Angels that resurrected his brother from Hell, because Crowley hadn’t been able to get him out. Not with Alistair roaming, and the last encounter Sam had with the Demon had left him wishing he had been drinking Demon Blood. The creature had been less than kind, and Crowley had to save his life.

‘They’ve raised Dean.’ Crowley nodded twice. Sam was warded from any Spell or tracking, thanks to his newfound friend, and Sam knew what Crowley wanted. Protection from the Angel, because if Dean was close with them, then Sam could convince Dean not to kill Crowley. He took a seat, trying to understand how he felt now his brother was alive. If he was alive. He looked to his phone, which he never turned on, and hesitated. He could quite easily do it, and see if Dean was indeed alive.

‘Do you know where they are?’ He asked the King of Hell, who had taken a seat and was helping himself to Dean’s bottle of Scotch that Sam had stolen from the Trunk of Baby. The Impala was parked safely in storage, because Sam couldn’t bear to drive the car that belonged to his brother. He promised Dean he’d look after it, and he did. Someone washed her once a month, changed her oil even if it hadn't been used, checked her for any damage or rust, and Sam paid for a Storage facility to keep her safe.

‘They found the Impala. Dean, an Angel, and Bobby. The Angel left Heaven, because of you ruining the apocalypse.’ Sam’s smile was cold, he may have stopped the apocalypse, but he hadn't stopped his brother from going to Hell. And no doubt Alistair would be going after him.

‘Where’s Alistair?’ Crowley disliked the Demon just as much as he did, so he could trust Crowley to help him kill Alistair. He twirled Ruby’s knife, wondering if he should chug Demon blood to kill Alistair. It would be simpler, and he deserved the pain that came with detoxing.

‘I’ve got Meg tracking him.’ That was good. Meg, despite being evil, wasn’t that bad. A Demon, sure, but she had some common sense. Crowley had good connections, he helped on cases, even kept most of the Demons away from Sam.

‘You’re going to ask me to drink.’ He stated, looking to the King. Crowley shrugged, finishing his drink of Scotch and standing up. He always wore the most ridiculous suits, ones that made Sam laugh slightly.

‘It would be easier. I can lock you down after.’ They had done this twice before. Crowley hated it as much as Sam did, the two of them had to sit in a locked room, Crowley drinking scotch while Sam screamed and begged.

‘Then once you have him located, I’ll do it.’ Crowley would never volunteer his own blood, it would likely be Meg, but that was okay. He didn’t mind, as long as he managed to kill Alistair, to make him suffer for the torture his brother endured.

‘Meg will be in touch. Meanwhile, I found us a case.’ He didn’t point out that Crowley had said “us”, he knew that the Demon had a weird obsession with being human. He didn’t mind the company that much, he needed someone to stop him when it got too much. This burning inside, the urge to jump into a situation that he could never handle.

‘Anything interesting?’ He grabbed the duffel, loading his weapons in. The good thing about having a Demon on side was the fact that he could bounce around the country, finding Cases for Sam. They were usually ones that annoyed Demons, but Sam balanced that out with attacking Demons as well. Crowley stayed away when he did those cases.

‘Shapeshifter. Killing one of my Demon’s clients.’ That made sense, and Crowley was honest enough to tell him that he was trying to secure his clients. Sam had never been so aware of what Demons did, of how they operated. Hell, Sam had even seen the Throne Room that Crowley had made for himself, had learnt about the gates to Hell and a place called Purgatory. Crowley followed him out of the Motel room, staring to the beaten-up Jeep that Sam was currently driving.

‘It would cost my suit just to sit in that thing.’ Crowley stated distastefully, and Sam gave him a look. He wouldn’t call him a friend, but it sure was nice to have someone. The King sighed, bottle of Scotch in hand, glass in the other. He poured himself another one, then nodded to the car.

‘Let’s get going.’


	2. Alistair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam goes to Hunt Alistair, and well, it doesn't go to plan

‘And you’re sure he’s in there?’ Sam asked, wiping his mouth. Meg healed the cut on her arm, Sam giving her a brief nod of thanks. The blood was already rushing to his head, messing with it, but he was starting to worry.

‘He’s in there, but there are others as well. Not Demons.’ Sam nodded, looking to his companions. The two Demons gave him a nod, and Sam led them into the building. It was a warehouse, broken and old, yet the inside was relatively well standing. The first thing Sam noted when he opened the door was the heat, the fiery ring with a person standing inside. He was wearing a trench-coat, blue eyes spotting Sam immediately.

Angel, from what Crowley had described. He recognised the people as well, the old man on the floor with a bent shotgun was Bobby, his hat thrown across the floor. Ellen was propped up against the wall, cradling her arm, and Jo was close to where Dean was on the floor. Dean, his brother, on the floor with Alistair standing in the centre of the room, controlling the situation.

‘Look at this. The King of Hell, his lapdog, and the Boy-King.’ Sam walked into the room steadily, Crowley at one side, Meg at the other. Her eyes were black, dark and dangerous, Crowley’s flicked red momentarily before he came to a stop.

‘Hey Dean, I’ve met your baby bro before,’ Alistair teased, but Sam refused to look down to his brother. He wouldn’t, couldn’t let Dean see him like this, he had to get rid of Alistair. Dammit, why did Dean have to be here? How had they found Alistair before Crowley had? The King looked just as terrified, but mostly of the Angel in the corner. Sam would deal with that later.

‘Doesn’t do well without big brother, do you Sammy?’ Sam tensed, gestured for Meg to get the others out of the way. She nodded, slipped to the side and went to Ellen first. The woman glared, but allowed Meg to help her up, walking her across to Bobby. Alistair watched, but didn’t move.

‘This is how it is, Crowley? First you get the boy to stop the Apocalypse, then to help you to the throne, now to kick everyone else out of the way?’ Sam snorted with laughter, the amusement of thinking that Crowley could control him. They both knew that on blood, Sam was stronger than the King of Hell, hence why he hated Sam on it.

‘The opposite of it, in fact. But you hurt Sam, and Dean, and I’ve quickly learnt that you don’t mess with the Winchesters.’ Alistair’s hand stretched out, Meg gasping as she was flung back. Sam snarled, before holding his own hand out. He pulled, tugged on the blood that he had consumed, focused on the Monster that Ruby had made him when she started to drug him. Alistair wobbled, then started to scream.

Meg was too weak to heal herself, having given most of her blood to Sam so that he could drain Alistair. And it was working, his body was pouring out black smoke that was forming in circles around his body, and Sam growled. When the body dropped, Sam fell, Crowley catching him easily.

‘Meg.’ Sam mumbled, and Crowley nodded. He walked across, helping up the other Demon, before they reached a sort of stalemate in the room. Sam was losing consciousness first, stood on wobbly feet and stamped on the fire circle until it broke. Crowley was hauling Bobby up, Meg was assisting Ellen, Dean was staring at Sam like he couldn’t quite believe he was standing there.

Sam offered a weak smile, before he passed out.

**

Crowley didn’t know if he liked these people being this close. They were in Sioux Falls, and Crowley had carried the Boy-King to the Panic Room, Dean never leaving Sam’s side. The Angel was leaning against the wall, watching as Crowley manhandled Sam out of the jacket. Meg started restraining his ankles, Dean stepping back as the two Demons worked.

The bandages were visible, but Crowley didn’t bother explaining, too busy strapping his wrists down. Meg finished with the ankles, sitting up and looking to Crowley for assistance. Sam was still unconscious, which wasn’t a great sign. They needed to detox him, but if he was injured internally…

‘Meg, meds and bandages.’ The Demon left the room, with help from Bobby, and disappeared. Crowley shot a weary glance to the Angel, but he wasn’t saying anything. Dean wasn’t either, staring at his baby brother with a look of guilt. Ellen was with Jo, Bobby in the doorway.

‘You stopped the apocalypse.’ The Angel finally stated, and Crowley looked up to him.

‘Well, I helped Sam stop the apocalypse. The Moose is quite determined.’ He looked down to the sleeping man, felt awful for the stress he had put him under. Truth be told, Crowley found himself caring for the Hunter.

‘I see that maybe I misjudged the Vessel of Lucifer.’

‘Cas.’ Dean snapped, and the Angel fell quiet again. Meg reappeared, striding back to his side. Sam still hadn't woken, so he couldn’t take the medication yet. Instead, Crowley took out the bandages and worked on undoing the current ones. His right arm wasn’t as bad as his left, but they were both considerably scarred. Dean sucked in air, Bobby muttered under his breath, but Crowley just worked on one arm while Meg did the other.

‘Should we give him more? He isn’t waking.’ Meg snapped, peering at him.

‘He has some internal damage.’ The Angel stated, and all heads snapped in his direction. The Angel hesitated, stepping forwards.

‘I can heal him.’ He offered, and Crowley hesitated.

‘Don’t heal the cuts on his arms. He won’t thank you, I’ve already tried. And don’t hurt him.’ Crowley stated, the Angel nodding and pressing two fingers to his forehead.

‘I can’t alleviate the demon blood from his system.’

‘That’s okay, he’s done this before.’ Crowley remembered the drugged Sam, the scene Crowley had found with Ruby on the floor, throat slashed, and Sam with blood dripping down his chin. This would work, Sam would be fine, and he would get back up again.

‘Meg, go to the Throne Room. Make sure the Demons don’t get out of line while I’m gone.’ She nodded, leaving Sam’s side. Once she had bounced, Sam’s eyes started to flick. They opened momentarily, focusing on Crowley.

‘Detox number 3, Moose.’ Sam rolled his eyes, but allowed Crowley to feed him the meds he needed.

‘We’ll lock the door.’ He assured, before the King of Hell stood up. The group hesitantly left, before Dean turned to Crowley.

‘Explain everything, and don’t leave out any details.’ He snapped, the Demon blinking before agreeing to the deal.


	3. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of the short-story

Sam was shaky the first couple of days out of the Panic Room. He also spent most of them outside, trying not to get in the way of the others. With the Demon Blood gone, the depression came back, and in full force. Sam was sitting on top of one of the old cars, picking at the scabs on his arm when Dean came out. Sam refused to look at his brother, couldn’t stand staring at those green eyes.

‘Sammy, baby brother, I need you to talk to me.’ Dean firmly stated, Sam not looking. No, he couldn’t, he couldn’t do this. Dean had been GONE, Sam had been all alone and he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to handle the situation. A hand cupped his cheek, lifted his face until Sam was staring at those green eyes, the ones that meant everything was okay. He shuddered, felt tears start to fill his own eyes.

‘You were gone.’ He stated, voice wobbling dangerously as he looked up at the man he watched be ripped apart, heard the hellhounds, saw them rip Dean into shreds. He couldn’t stop the tears spilling, Dean’s thumbs trying to brush them away but they kept coming.

‘Oh, Sammy.’ He didn’t even argue about the nickname, Dean jumped onto the car besides him and wrapped his arms around him, Sam bursting into loud tears as he did so. He’d lost his brother, had to watch him die, he couldn’t do that again. He couldn’t ever do that.

‘I’m not leaving you, not ever again. You and me, Sammy.’ But Sam couldn’t believe that, he had seen what could happen. He clutched tighter, fingers reaching for the amulet around his brother’s neck. It was a small comfort, he had left it in the Impala, and it soothed his racing heart.

‘But Sam, baby brother, we’re going to have to talk about these.’ His fingers dropped to Sam’s arms, but the Winchester was still too busy breathing in the scent of engine oil, leather and deodorant. His brother, his Dean, his only family. They stayed like that, Sam pressed up against Dean, his big brother’s arm slung around him.

‘Tell me what happened.’ And so, very hesitantly, Sam began the story.

‘It… after you died, I didn’t know what to do. Ruby tried to hang around, and I noticed that I started getting headaches when she stayed away too long. When I found out she’d been drugging me, I used the knife to kill her, but the blood… Crowley found me, detoxed me, then explained the Apocalypse. We went after Lilith, Crowley killed her and took the Throne of Hell. We went after Alistair to try and get you out, but Alistair… he didn’t take it too well.’ Sam paused, remembering the feeling of utter humiliation, of the way that the Demon told him that he had been hurting Dean. Of how Alistair told Sam that he would turn Dean’s torture sexual if Sam didn’t…

‘Anyway, I detoxed again, got some drugs, sorted myself out. Started Hunting, with Crowley’s help, and managed to get my life on track. I couldn’t get you out of Hell, not without killing Alistair, but he was too strong without the blood. And I didn’t know if I could do that again, it… it messes with my head, badly. I worried that I’d end up in Hell as well, and as much as I wanted to be with you, I couldn’t let your sacrifice be in vain. Then Crowley told me that Angels had pulled you from Hell, and we went after Alistair.’ Dean had stayed silent, fingers playing with Sam’s hair as they lay on the car. Eventually, he spoke.

‘I know what Alistair did to you, Sammy. He told me.’ Sam tensed, trying to pull away, but Dean held him firm.

‘Stop, Sammy. You… you saved me, from that. We’re going to sort this out, you and me. We have Bobby, and Ellen, and Jo, and Cas on our side. Even Crowley and Meg, which I must say is surprising. You can get out, have that Apple Pie life you always wanted.’ Sam huffed, rolled over so he stared at his big brother.

‘I don’t want that, Dean. I want to be with you.’ It sounded slightly… deeper, the meaning, than Sam had meant it. But Dean just smiled, pulling Sam back to his chest.

‘Yeah, yeah. Sasquatch little brother, I’ve got you.’

**

‘Dean will heal him.’ Crowley remarked, standing next to the Angel. Castiel stood beside the King of Hell, watching the Righteous Man and the Boy-King. He was honestly surprised by Sam, he had expected the boy to be evil. When Cas had left Heaven because they were trying to find ways of restarting the apocalypse, he had come to see the man he had raised from Hell. He hadn't thought he would form a friendship with the other Winchester.

He watched as Sam laughed, his face lighting up as he looked to his big brother. The bond between them was visible, the way their souls both lit up at the presence of each other. The way that the darkness of Sam’s soul, the self-hatred, seemed to fade when Dean was around. The way that Dean had spent these weeks pining over his brother, trying to find him.

‘Do they know their soulmates?’ Crowley asked, staring as Dean tugged Sam back, the two so close that their souls moulded into each other. Castiel looked to Bobby, Ellen and Jo, who had all heard the Demon’s remark. But none of them looked surprised, like they had all realised they were so close that there had to be something there.

‘No. But Lucifer and Michael were, and the other Angels won’t hesitate to tell them that.’ Castiel stated, staring out to the couple. The brothers looked so peaceful, so Castiel found himself smiling. He would go back to Heaven, try and assure Michael that they should leave it. If he could just prove that the bond they shared was like the one that Michael and Lucifer used to share, then the Archangel might let it work.

‘I’ll keep them safe from Heaven.’ Castiel stated aloud, Crowley nodding.

‘And I’ll keep them safe from Hell.’ He assured, the two looking to each other. Crowley offered a smile, Castiel confused at why the Demon would care so much, but he allowed it. He gave a nod, before leaving the Salvage Yard in search of the one person who could convey to Michael how much they should leave the Winchesters together, the one person that Michael would listen to. The Judge, the Voice of Heaven, the Third Eldest Archangel. Gabriel.


End file.
